Taking Care of My Golf Balls

This past weekend my wife was going in 100 different directions. She had so much to do and wanted to make everyone happy and not be a disappointment to anyone. She asked me, “How do you do it? How to you stay so calm? Doesn’t any of this ever get to you?”

I took her hands and looked into her eyes and simply asked, “What is the most important thing in your life?” And before she could answer I asked, “Do you know what the most important thing is in my life? Do you know the one thing in this world that I would give my life for without a second thought, it is you and our son? Family, that is what is important in my life. Everything else is just noise.”

She gave me an understanding hug, took a few deep breaths, re-prioritized her to-do list finishing only the most important tasks (most to do with the family) and saved the rest for another day.

What follows is from an email that showed up in my in-box this morning. I usually do not share email blasts but I have to think that there was a divine force that put this in my in-box at this time. It was also from my loving wife.

The Mayonnaise Jar

When things in your life seem almost too much to handle, when 24 hours in a day is not enough, remember the mayonnaise jar and 2 cups of coffee.

A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, wordlessly, he picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and started to fill it with golf balls.

He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was.

The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls.

He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was.

The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up the empty spaces. He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with a unanimous “YES!”

The professor then produced two cups of coffee from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar, effectively filling the empty space between the sand. The students laughed.

“Now!” said the professor, as the laughter subsided, “I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are the important things - God, family, children, health, friends, and favorite passions, things that if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full.”

“The pebbles are the things that matter like your job, house, and car. “

“The sand is everything else -- the small stuff. “

“If you put the sand into the jar first,' he continued, “there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life.”

“If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have room for the things that are important to you.”

“So… Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play with your children. Take time to get medical checkups. Take your partner out to dinner.”

“There will always be time to clean the house and fix the dripping tap.”

“Take care of the golf balls first -- The things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand.”

One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the coffee represented.

The professor smiled. “I'm glad you asked. It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem, there's always room for a couple of cups of coffee with a friend.”

Thoughts of My Father

My best friend’s father passed away a few days ago. Not the sperm donor that made his mother pregnant and not the man she later married, but the man who taught him about life, God, country, right from wrong and how to be a man. He was a real man who drove a truck with a stock trailer in tow usually holding his favorite cuttin’ or ropin’ horse. A man that was respected and looked up to by other men as an example of what a person should strive to do with their own life. He wasn’t “the Duke” but he was as close a man I have ever met that could wear John Wayne’s boots. He will truly be missed by friends, family and everyone whose life he touched.

His passing brought back a flood of memories about my own father and how he influenced my life. Everyone has their hero’s and my father was mine. He was the strongest, bravest, kindest, and most caring man I will ever know. He never drank openly and the only curse words I heard him say were “Hell ‘o Jack”, a far cry from the litany of words you hear fathers espouse in the movies these days. He taught me how to be a husband, father, brother, neighbor, and friend. There is not a day that passes that I do not think of him and see how he has touched my life.

When I look at my friend I see his father and hope the same is reflected in me. But my biggest wish is that when someone looks at my son, it is a reflection of me and my father.